


Broadway Karkat Fucks Up.

by My_ChemicalKismesis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Broadway Karkat, Love songs, M/M, Multi, Radio, cherrypepsicola - Freeform, i'm not sure if its earth c, one of the songs mentions the game, radio host!dave, so its definitely not a no sburb au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 20:31:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15155069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_ChemicalKismesis/pseuds/My_ChemicalKismesis
Summary: Karkat writes songs and Dave plays them on his radio show. Everything goes fine until Karkat sends the wrong folder. Instead of sending the new album, he sent his secret love songs for John and Dave.





	Broadway Karkat Fucks Up.

**Author's Note:**

> The way the show works is Karkat sends in a folder of songs and two new ones get released each day.

Dave was sitting in the sound booth of his radio station, waiting for Karkat to send him that day’s new batch of Broadway Karkat songs. When the on-air signed flashed on, Dave began to answer the questions some of his listener’s gave him. This question asked “Why do you call Karkat Karkles?”  
“Well I call him that ironically and to mess with him. He’s cute when he’s annoyed,” Dave finished, hoping Karkat wasn’t listening to this broadcast. However, that was not the case. Karkat often found himself watching the video of the broadcasts just to listen to Dave talk and look at his face.  
Dave began reading the next question, “I ship you and Karkat.” Dave responded to this question with a chuckle that went for an awkward amount of time before responding. Dave’s face had a light blush now and Karkat noticed this and felt his heart flutter in his ribs.  
“I see where you are coming from listener but I’m not really sure how he feels about me,” Dave began with his tone a bit different than before. “Though it does almost seem like he has one of those troll hate crushes on me,” Dave said with a chuckle, trying to hide the multitude of emotions he was feeling. Karkat looked at his computer screen with a frown, he did not have a black crush on him, though he had a strong red crush. He then realized how sometimes the way he acted could be perceived as Kismesis, but no he was actually actively red flirting with Dave. Dave didn’t show it, but he definitely was unhappy with the idea of Karkat having black feelings for him, since he knew he cared a lot about Karkat but didn’t have any hatred towards him. “After all, he seems to get upset when I do things like leave stuff like clothes in his room. He does seem to honestly get upset at me less than most people though, but he almost seems to be flirting with me. He hasn’t really flipped his shit at me though really. Like sure, he was a bit upset that time I left my shirt in his room. He did have a lot to say to me about the shirt, but I was a bit distracted by his adorabley messy hair, and his cute little scowl, and his face, and the fact he almost seemed to be blushing, and the way his lips moved when he talked, and,” Dave trailed off before realizing he was ranting about his feeling about Karkat on live radio. “Fuck I really hope Karkles isn’t listening to this. But if you are, you still haven’t fucking sent me today’s songs.” Karkat quickly sent Dave the folder distractedly. “Oh he sent it! This doesn’t seem like the right folder though, it’s called SECRET BROADWAY KARKAT SONGS, NEVER SEND TO DAVE OR JOHN. Eh, I’ll play it anyway. The first song is called GFDI DAVE, which seems to be about me. It has an interesting image attached of him and me.” He hit play on the song  
“God fucking dammit Dave  
There goes the last shit that I ever gave,” Dave nodded, not seeing what was different until the next lyric played. “Isn’t it ironic? Used to be platonic,” Dave’s face quickly changed. “Then I realized I'm horns over heels for  
God fucking dammit Dave,” he let out a little gasp at this and he felt a bit of joy knowing Karkat felt flushed feelings for him. “Making bedroom eyes at any  
Pretty boy or girl or troll  
He always knows just how to piss me off  
Even if I beg he won't lay off,” Dave wondered if he was really as bad as Karkat says about him, but he was barely given a chance to ponder before the chorus began. “God fucking dammit Dave  
If only I could manage to escape  
All your hipster witchcraft, don't you fucking dare laugh.” Karkat hastily typed out a message to Dave.  


carcinoGeneticist began pestering turntechGodhead 

CG: “FUCK. THATS THE WRONG FUCKING PLAYLIST. DAVE FUCKING CHANGE THE PLAYLIST TO SOMETHING ELSE.” 

Karkat knew he had fucked up now. Dave, and anyone listening to the radio or who saw it on social media would know he had flushed feelings for him. It wouldn’t be long until the fanbase that had developed would be messaging him all over social media. Oh gog. He hadn’t even considered Nepeta. Karkat let out a shout of anger, that John heard.  
“Karkat?” John asked, leaning his head into Karkat’s room. “I saw the show and, if you need to talk, I’m here,” John said walking over to Karkat and giving him a smile.  
Though John was smiling on the outside, deep down he was frowning. He has a crush on both Dave and Karkat, unfortunately though those two are madly in love with each other and he’s always going to be friend number three. The third wheel. The one left single and alone while his two crushes snuck off somewhere and kissed or whatever.  
“Listen, he seems to really like you back and hopefully you still feel the same way and you two will end up together.”  
“I know, but I think he thinks I have fucking black feelings for him but I don’t.I didn’t want him to find out in such a fucking horrible way,” Karkat began, cutting off any farther words with tears as red as his crush on Dave. Then the computer lit up with a response from Dave.  


TG: “sorry karkles but i cant” 

“FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK,” Karkat began shouting repeatedly.  
“Karkat, I know it’s a bad time but maybe you should be a little quieter. The apartment has thin walls and the neighbors could hear, and we have no clue who they are. I have heard some interesting noises from their apartment though. We also got new neighbors yesterday who we have no clue who they are and do you really want their first impression to be your shouting?” Karkat then realized the exact scale of how much he had fucked up.  
“Just leave me alone, I just need some time alone, no  
(I just need some time alone no, I just need some time alone no!, I just need some time alone!)” Dave still sat, silently listening until Karkat’s message sent which he quickly typed out a response to. “*siiiigh* God fucking dammit Dave,” he continued silently listening. “This bridge is shitty so you might feel pity  
For my tragic tale of incompatibility  
Can you distract me when he's so attractively  
Holding my weakness against me, the bastard,” he blushed. “Will he persist even after I kiss him?” Dave felt the flush on his cheeks grow redder, and his jaw dropped a little lower. “I hate him, I love him  
But I keep on trying to prove that  
I loathe how I swoon  
I'm losing my confidence  
“I want you  
I want you  
I want you  
I want you  
I want you  
I want you  
I want you  
I want you  
God fucking dammit Dave!” Each lyric felt like a slap in the face. He’d been hopelessly in love with Karkles for so long, and he was writing this all along. If he hadn’t been such a coward and just told him, maybe they could already be dating.  
“If I had a star to wish on  
For my life I can’t imagine  
Any other stoic prick compares  
Mirror shades won't hide it if he stares  
Love me, hate me, fuck me, I DON'T CARE!!” Dave felt his draw drop a little farther.  
“Karkles,” he whispered, barely audible. That was just another nail in the coffin of Dave and Karkat being in love for John. He guessed that when Dave gets home the two would make out and he’d be there the whole time being a third wheel. “God fucking dammit Dave  
I might not be real experienced with humans  
But who am I fooling while my blood is pooling  
At the pit of me, as I lie awake and  
God fucking dammit Dave.” Dave really wondered how he never knew that Karkat felt like this about him. “Whisper in my ear with your stupid voice  
Tell me that you love me, that you're thinking of me  
Straight and to the point,” Dave sat there shocked, did Karkles actually really always feel like that. He felt like such an ignorant idiot for not noticing sooner. “That is why I hate you  
God fucking dammit Dave,” Dave sat astounded at the zipper sound at the end before remembering he was a radio host and had to talk a bit before the next song.  
“Karkles, if you’re listening, call me later.” The next song began, and Dave saw that it was about John, judging by the little image. Karkat recognised that music, and quickly whirled around and attempted to plug John’s ears so he wouldn’t hear the song. John let out a scream-like shout that was quickly cut off because the two boys fell and John got the wind knocked out of him. Then Karkat heard a muffled conversation between neighbors.  
“I heard a scream and some shouting from over here so I went to investigate. Do you live here?” said a man’s voice that Karkat recognised but couldn’t quite place.  
“Yeah! I live in a different row though but I could help investigate!” Karkat would recognise that voice anywhere. It was Nepeta, and knowing her she would misinterpret this and ship them. [Note:John can’t hear the lyrics in brackets like this.]  
“Asinine  
The reasons are asinine  
I'll never accept that I  
have fallen horns over heels  
I hear no bells,  
no chorusing of angels,  
but I've fallen under your spell  
I think I know how Juliet feels,” John frowned, because he assumed the song was about Dave.  
“Karkat what the fuck?” John shouted. The two had landed in a way where Karkat was sitting on John’s chest. His fingers somehow miraculously stayed in John’s ears, preventing him from hearing the conversation outside and some song lyrics. Then Karkat heard the front door open, and he panicked. Nepeta absolutely could not see him and John like this. Karkat hastily somehow managed to use his foot to turn off the lights, to try and make it seem less like the two were in there. He kicked the wall a bit, and made a few crashes that slightly worried the other neighbors who had not gone to investigate. Then he shoved his knee in John’s mouth to attempt to shut him up, since he had to keep his fingers in his ears. In his panic, he hadn’t even considered the fact that the song would give them away.  
“Is someone hurt?” the unrecognised voice called out, a note of worry in his voice. The two pairs of footsteps got closer, until they were at the door.  
“The music sounds like it’s coming from in here,” Nepeta said, her hand slowly turning the doorknob. She and the second person, who he now recognised as Dirk looked in. She quickly surveys the scene and turns the light on before pulling out a small notepad that was titled Portable Shipping Wall and taking a few photos.  
“A new ship!” She exclaimed happily.  
“Sorry for interrupting,” Dirk said before backing away. “Use protection!” He then jogged away  
“So unfair  
Everything is so unfair!  
[Buck teeth and messy hair]  
aren't things that normally tug at my heart  
Your eyes so [blue]  
Oh I could get lost in you!  
If only you knew the truth  
But I guess "good friends" is a start,” John thought the lyrics were about Dave, so they just hurt him more. “If Prospit and Derse decide  
that they both are satisfied  
Transportalizers all shut down for good this time  
If I can't go to your world when the game is through,  
I'll still be horns over heels for you.

You and me  
Together we've led this team  
and soon we'll reach victory  
We might not meet again after this  
I promised I  
would not let you see me cry,  
but there's not a dry eye  
between me and you  
I have to tell you soon...!

If Prospit and Derse decide  
that they both are satisfied  
Transportalizers all shut down for good this time  
If I can't go to your world when the game is through,  
I'll still be horns over heels for you.

[John], I'm horns over heels for you,” he was nearly at the point of tears, still thinking these lyrics were about Dave. Suddenly, just as tears were beginning to well at his eyes Karkat stood up and walked over to the computer and closed the radio show because he had enough embarrassment. The force of him standing up caused John to move a bit and hit his head on a book, which caused him to start bleeding. Karkat, still not noticing the disaster behind him and began typing a message to Dave, in case Nepeta or Dirk contacted him before Karkat did, just so he would know what happened or at least to ignore those two.  


CG:“DAVE IGNORE WHATEVER DIRK OR NEPETA SAID,” 

he began and then noticed what was happening behind him.

“OH WAIT FUCK I FUCKED UP. HE’S BLEEDING ISN’T HE. FUCK. I FUCKED UP DAVE.” 

Dave saw this message and panicked. He had to end this show quickly.

tentacleTherapist began pestering turntechGodhead 

TT:“Dave, is everything okay? I heard Karkat and John screaming in the apartment next to mine and Kanaya’s and someone broke into your house, but they left. I also heard some shouts about someone being hurt, as well as a scream that got cut off by a loud crash.” 

Dave looked at that message and freaked out. Karkat glanced behind him, hoping to send another message to Dave to clarify, unfortunately things had gotten worse. John was unconscious, or worse.  


CG: DAVE I REALLY FUCKED UP. HE’S UNCONSCIOUS. AT LEAST I HOPE HE’S ONLY UNCONSCIOUS. HOW MUCH DOES IT TAKE TO KILL A HUMAN?” 

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwCvYhFWjPY&list=PL5plkj_UrgCHs81543x2JP9gcddP7B4Vg  
> A playlist of the songs in this fic!


End file.
